Tag Archives: Satire

Top 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Reload

In this age of instant gratification, why would anyone want to spend hours-on-end sitting in a room, at a bench, yanking a handle, and creating ammunition you’re just going to go through in a day? Well, here are 5 reasons you should leave the bench behind!

1. It’s So Time Consuming!

clock flush
In Australia, it spins in the opposite direction.

If you’re like us, then you dedicate your day to the hustle and bustle of life. Get up, drink black coffee, milk cows, feed the chickens, slop the hogs, then it’s straight outside to deal with the animals. After that, you’re off to work in the salt mines for about 10 hours. Now you’re in traffic, listening to Rush wax poetic about how the world is in good order, and we’re all excited for President Clinton, Part Deux, to climb capitol hill. Next, it’s back home to wash, rinse, and repeat. So our question is: Why on earth would you want to sit by yourself, away from all distractions, around what could be potentially soothing repetitive motions? You might want to put on a little classical music, or you might just want to listen to the gentle hush of the powder measure/scale you saved up for, as it sprinkles that last little bit of Varget you ordered from Midsouth Shooters Supply. Who’d want to do that, right?

2. It’s Dangerous!

Danger Sign
You can’t spell Danger without anger, and the letter D.

You’d better be on your game, or you will explode. It can’t be any more simple than that. You’re creating a tiny explosive, and you’re putting the entire neighborhood at risk with your…wait…you’re in an enclosed area, away from all distractions, and you’re paying close attention to every detail of every aspect of what you’re doing? Well, carry on then, but we’re watching you…always watching…

3. Zen is a Weird Word!

Zen Master
The socks were an interesting choice.

Why would you want to incorporate your body and mind in a meditative, contemplative, and intuitive state? Peaceful seems awfully dull. It also sounds like hippy-nonsense. We’ve heard of folks finding peace at the reloading bench. They’ve obviously never tried to ream the primer pocket of 1000 Lake City .223 Rem cases by hand, have they? Please see #1 of this article.

4. Is it Worth It?

Dollar signs
It’s not the size of your wallet, it’s how you use it.

Who likes to actually save money? Who really appreciates the feeling of accomplishment one feels after creating their own ammunition? Do you ever get any piece of mind after finishing a job yourself, and knowing it was done correctly, efficiently, and effectively? Will this entire section be in question form? Maybe?

5. Accuracy is Highly Overrated!

sub MOA grouping
Nice shooting, Shorty. We’re actually being serious here.

Hitting a target from several hundred yards away in the same spot repeatedly is a waste of a target. People make those pieces of paper to be used. The feeling you get when you fire 5 rounds sub MOA isn’t THAT great. Plus you spent all that time fine-tuning your specific load, for your favorite gun, only to achieve what some would call “close to perfection.” Then you try even harder, succeed, feel all this self worth, and your ego grows, and your wife finds you more attractive, your friends think you’re cool, and your drink at the end of the day tastes colder and more refreshing, all because you dominated the range today. See, that sounds exhausting.

So, there you have it. 5 great reasons to turn your reloading room into a sewing room, and your reloading bench into a lovely gift wrapping station. If you’re looking to purchase a new sense of humor, please visit Midsouth Shooters Supply where they are on sale every APRIL FOOLS DAY!

In the comments below, please feel free to brag about how awesome your reloading bench really is. Show off your latest accomplishment at the range. Brag about how good you are at this wonderful thing called reloading. We appreciate it, and we appreciate you!